Couples Intensives

I specialize in creating transformative 3 day couple intensives.

This is the most efficient and effective way to dislodge unsatisfying relational patterns and to move your relationship towards connection, joy and deeper satisfaction.

Too many couples spend years in therapy having the same conversations without experiencing a significant shift in the relationship.

Maybe you’ve had this experience?

You’ve come to see a therapist with hopes of learning tools to improve your marriage or partnership. Typically traditional therapy begins with a review of the past, often focusing on recent conflicts or pain points which naturally re-activate the challenging emotions associated with those events. Given the constraints of a fifty, sixty or even ninety minute session, there isn’t enough time to move through an arc of experience that will be instructive and reparative. Strong emotions get activated during the session and linger as you exit the therapist’s office. You leave unresolved without learning anything new or tangible about how to have a great relationship. This cycle sadly reinforces the negative narrative you have that your relationship is really in trouble. Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness linger as you continue this cycle and schedule another appointment while hoping the next session will help and be better.

Another possibility is that the therapist is unskilled with facilitating a strong enough experience for you to integrate the deep learning that actually results in change. The process remains intellectual, abstract, or too superficial and doesn’t get to the root causes or real solutions for your situation. With this scenario, the fate of your relationship is in danger, as your attempts to get help end up reinforcing pain, frustration and disappointment.

The three day intensive model that I’ve designed is highly effective in helping you know exactly what to do to create more love, satisfaction, and pleasure together on all levels of relationship.

I’ll structure our time so that you’ll be doing something differently, not just talking about your problems. Because this process involves experiential learning, it’s easier to remember and to apply outside the office when you’ll need it.

You’ll also receive audio recordings of the highlights of our work together so you have reminders of how to continue the integration process and what relational moves to practice and when. You are empowered to continue creating the changes you desire as you’ll have a clear and precise path forward together.

This accelerated process delivers more than three months of traditional therapy in the span of only three days. Many couples report that it’s been more effective than the years they spent in ongoing therapy covering the same old ground.

With 4-5 hours of focused work each day, I’ll help you gain greater clarity about the vestigial strategies that are holding you back from getting to the next level of intimacy and connection. You will receive specific tasks that you will practice immediately to improve your situation. We’ll address perceptual bias, conflict resolution, relational self-advocacy, attunement, non-verbal communication, proper repair, sexuality and eroticism, parenting, aging, and whatever else your unique situation requires to heal, grow and love more fully. You will leave the office with more joy, connection, and the confidence of how to Love Well.

I do this in a manner that is professional, ethical, respectful, and even fun.

I work with couples all over the world virtually via secure video, and in person in beautiful Boulder, Colorado.

My office is walking distance from historic Pearl Street, the Hotel Boulderado and the St. Julien Hotel & Spa.

Please contact me if you are a committed couple interested in scheduling an intensive.

Summary of the Three-Day Couple Intensive:

13-15 hours of couple therapy over three days
Audio recordings that summarize the work that we did each day, your tasks to practice outside the office, and contemplations that will help maintain your progress made during the Intensive.
Articles and videos that I author exclusively for the couples that I work with. I’m not a big social media user, so this content is directed to the couples who already know my work, have gone through an intensive and can benefit from additional information.
The cost is $9800 for the three days
I offer a half-hour (complimentary) preliminary phone call so that you and your partner/spouse can ask any questions about my methods up front, learn more about the model that I have created and then decide whether it’s a fit to invest the time and money to grow your love and relationship.

My Intensive is a good fit for you if:

You love each other and you want to get better together. You’re genuinely interested in relationship and want it to be a greater source of joy, pleasure and meaning in your life.
You’re curious about yourself and your partner, and you’re open to learning, even if that means being vulnerable or experiencing strong emotions.
Your life situation affords you the time to focus on your relationship for three days. It’s important that you have the opportunity to integrate this work. I understand that you might be returning to high-pressure demands, including children or work, but it’s best if you have the full three days to focus primarily on your relationship with each other.
You value science. Much of my work is informed by cognitive neuroscience. I often work with spiritual and even devoutly religious couples who are open to learning about the science of perception and relationship, and they are willing to apply this knowledge in personal ways that compliment their spiritual lives.

My intensives are NOT the best option for you if:

You aren’t sure that you want to stay together. All relationships have their pain points, and I can help you to deal with them. YET, if you aren’t sure that you even want to be in this relationship, then you’ll have to deal with that question first before you can improve anything as a couple. I suggest that you find a therapist who is skilled in specifically helping couples with discernment: “Do you or do you not want to be a couple.” If you know in your emotionally sober moments that you do want to remain in this relationship, then you’re ready to work with me.
My cost is prohibitive. I know that I’m expensive. I’m committed to being as efficient and effective as possible, and making sure that you get the most return on your investment. Payment shouldn’t be an added pain. I don’t want working with me to cause you any financial stress, as it will color the work that we do together, and impact your ability to learn from me. Please find a competent therapist that is within your budget so that you don’t have to worry about the cost of receiving support.
Substance misuse is your primary complaint. Though I have experience and skill working with individuals and couples who have had problematic relationships with substances, my work is focused on helping couples have better relationships, not trying to convince either of you that you should stop using a substance. Substance misuse definitely impacts relationships, so deal with this issue first. After you get traction with recovery or harm reduction (six months – one year) and you’re ready to deal with the deeper dynamics within your relationship and yourselves (the second phase of real recovery), reach out to me.
Domestic violence. If there is active physical violence occurring in your conflicts, your home, or your life, then your first imperative is to create safety. No improvement can occur without the knowledge that you are physically safe. You should immediately reach out to a specialist in the field of domestic violence if you are a recipient or perpetrator of physical violence.
You’re looking for traditional therapy. I have found the most efficient way of working on your relationship as a couple is to get the complete download of what the problem really is and what the solutions are so that you can make change on day one. This is much more efficient and effective than the traditional piecemeal approach. I have a particular aversion to the subscription-based economic model when it is tied to something that you should actually own. I want you to feel like you own the means of growing your relationship, and I’ll make sure that you have the tools and practices to do so. Should you need additional support post-intensive, I offer opportunities for tune-ups. Some couples return for a follow-up three months later while others may take three years before they return. It really depends on what you’re dealing with, what your goals are, and how much you’re willing to put into practice. If you should need continual support, I’m happy to collaborate with your ongoing couple therapist.

Intensive Packages:

Learn, practice and integrate a new knowledge to co-create the best relationship you can have. Resolve old relational issues so you’re able to live and enjoy the present together. Come to a deeper understanding of how your nervous-system bias colors your interactions and how to overcome archaic perceptions and responses for greater connection. Learn effective conflict resolution and amplify pleasure together. This intensive includes the three days of therapy along with recordings of practices and reminders that are specific to each of you……….$9800